The biggest lesson from 15 years of entrepreneurship: there's always help if you're stuck. Just look for it. Eva Kapitany is a trainer and coach. From the very beginning, she has been by our side. Eva helps us to go inward. And to find solutions there. We jokingly call it our periodic checkup. Cathelijne (our founder) and Eva talk about this process.
Cathelijne: What makes going inward so difficult sometimes? Eva: "Being inside asks you to let go of the 'outside' for a while. Often, that’s in comparison with others. When your 'lack of self-confidence' is talking, you don't see things correctly. Like a tangled ball of wool, you have to untangle it first."
To others I usually describe you as the blind-spot champion. With constellations* you help me see the bigger picture. I then feel that I am at the truth. That gives so much peace! "You can become a slave to your own patterns. Often, they are so ingrained that you don't even see them. Constellations can reveal hidden connections and patterns. You look at your own life. And that can touch you deeply."
One of my most beautiful constellations was about 'Money' and 'Ideals'. For years, I worked extremely hard but I wasn't earning a dime. Major financial problems were the result. I introduced that as a theme. Two people represented the two forces. It turned out that they couldn’t connect at all. The 'Ideals' didn't like the 'Money'. A bit dirty, it wasn’t allowed to be there. After some deeper investigation it turned out that 'Money' was actually quite nice. They realized that they needed each other. Eventually they became the best of friends. So beautiful.
"With constellations you work on an unconscious layer. Something shifts at a deeper level. I often hear afterwards that things shift in reality as well. “The beautiful thing was that two weeks later, I found an investor who helped develop my business side! Then we finally started making some money, and realizing our ideals. Things can always shift. It may take some time. Or great effort. But anyone can make progress. As long as you dare to look."
"You are a member of your family system. You are part of it. And you have your own path to walk.
It's about being your own autonomous authentic adult personality. Free to live your dreams and ideals. It makes you feel rich."
* What’s a (family) constellation?
A constellation is a spatial representation of your system. Like a picture you can look at. It gives you insight into the deeper causes of problems. Often those can be traced to one of your dynamics, such as your family or your company. Usually you work with a group of people but you can also use objects or papers. All participants are arranged a certain way. They represent parts of your system, for example your parents, partner, colleagues, or friends. Through the participants you achieve information about your issue.